Chapter 3: Development Stages, Parenting and Caring

by April

It's hard to narrow this chapter down to just a few things to respond to so this may jump around a little bit.
Erikson's stages have always made more sense to me than some of the other theorist's explanations of stages. Of course being a preschool teacher I'm very aware of the autonomy vs. shame/doubt stage. There were plenty of times when I've had to encourage parents to begin allowing their preschooler to do things on their own, even if they have to struggle with it.

I'm now adjusting my mind to remember that students in early elementary might face some of that as they begin a new phase of life but that the stages that really represent them are the initiative vs. guilt and industry vs. inferiority. I can see that helping kids learn to take initiative while not acting on every impulse can be a great challenge! I learned through my experiences and observations while teaching preschoolers that you really do have to let kids struggle. It's important for them to learn early that things don't always come easily in life but we keep working hard until we figure it out. If we do everything for them in order to save them the pain of failing, we are instilling feelings of guilt and that we don't believe they can get it right on their own.

The other important stage for the age-group I seek to work with is "industry vs. inferiority." It's a lot of pressure to consider the statement on page 69 that says, "How well students do in the primary grades matter more for their future success than does their school performance at any other time." I see how important it is to help children develop the skills to cope with the challenges that life brings when school is added to home and other social settings. They need to struggle through tasks and accomplish them to achieve success and feelings of competence. I think this goes back to the zone of proximal development. We have to give them tasks that challenge them but don't frustrate them and make them want to give up.

I was especially interested in the different types of parenting listed in the text. It was helpful to see them written in that way. I have seen all of those forms in one way or another but to understand them in terms of the level of warmth vs. the level of control was very helpful. I do think a teacher can combat some of the effects of low warmth or low control by providing those things in the classroom. I wonder if those discrepancies have anything to do with the fact that students often act completely different at home then they do at school? I had a student this year who, in my opinion, received low warmth and low control at home. She was extremely clingy and in the presence of her family she was aggressive and absolutely out of control and there was never any response from guardians towards her behavior. However, in the classroom she followed directions well. I began trying to model some "guidance giving" in front of her caregivers such as "Sarah (not her name), it is important that you do not run ahead of your grandmother in the road."

I also wanted to comment on the section about teachers and caring. I can admit to falling into the pattern of waiting for a child to show "respect" to be more caring towards them. I certainly haven't done that intentionally but I understand the tendency to get frustrated with a student and stop expressing care for them which of course just makes the situation worse and there goes the downward spiral. It was very helpful to see that situation placed in writing. Hopefully that will help me be more aware of the tendency towards that. I really want to read the Love and Logic book for teachers to learn better ways of working with children who are having behavior problems.

Lastly, I was surprised to learn that the origin of the word "handicap" comes from when people with handicaps used to have to beg to survive (cap-in-hand). It's amazing how words change when you understand their origins. I never understand why that was offensive to people before, but now it is more clear